So here’s what other people said
My father said
You were
Selfish to hurt your family
Weak to end your life
When you hadn’t yet started it
My friends said
You were
Troubled
Nobody could have seen what was coming
Nobody could have helped
I didn’t say much
I’m not sad
Should I be?
You were
Only a quiet boy in gym class
Not cute enough to date
Paler than a bowl of milk
Held yourself like no one else wanted to
Didn’t mean much to me
Tonight I lie awake when I should be sleeping
Damp haired from my shower
The night orchestra of crickets and birds plays a
Cacophonous song of chirps and whistles
I think about you
And I’m not sad but
There is a space where my stomach should be
What you are and what you were and what you could have been
Flutter around my head like moths and
Murmur into my hair
Ghosts aren’t real but I am haunted
I should have grabbed you
Screamed into your face
Shaken some sense into your bony shoulders
That now slump into themselves, and turn to dirt
I’m not good with words but
I should have spoken
Author Bio:
Rayna Yu is a violinist and writer who lives in Virginia. In her spare time, she works on her young adult fantasy novel and plays with her cat. Rayna currently attends Colonial Forge High School.