I made mine.
Dismissal of future consequences served
as my golden ticket to do what I wanted
when I wanted
and whom I wanted…
Once upon a time, I defined myself as a free bird.
I flew in and out of countless bedroom windows from the
West to the East Coast, London too.
I collected personal souvenirs along the way.
No cages could imprison me
I slipped through the tightest bars in masquerade balls
with drizzled lies
until the Call came…
On that day, when the first snowflake danced down my car’s window shield,
I was told my life adventures would need to be postponed…
my extracurricular activities ushered in my Finale sooner
than I anticipated.
No more one-night stands.
No more exotic dancing on top of bar tops,
while lip-syncing to the 80s dance hits.
No more phone calls.
My so-called friends abandoned me without any hesitation,
including my best friend.
Now, I wait all alone in children-sized PJs that would fit a ten-year-old,
while my hospital bed swallows me up each night.
I’m afraid to look at myself in the mirror
because I don’t know who’s staring back at me.
I smashed all the mirrors in the house with a hammer three months ago
when I saw a frail and pale creature
painted with sores and fish scales all over its face
and naked body.
Sometimes, I notice a feather or two on the floor,
before my mother sweeps them up.
Her cries echo the halls each morning from
4:00am to 7:00am.
I know this will be my last summer to watch
the Ladybug Family
play outside my window in their tree house.
The prison I swore that would never surround me found me…
Someone once asked me if I had my life to relive,
then what would I have done differently?
I’ll tell you everything.
Miracle Austin works in the hospice world. She's an emerging author who enjoys writing diverse free-verse poetry with mini-stories and short stories. She's been writing since first hearing “Who’s Gonna Drive You Home,” by The Cars. She's working on her first novella and resides in Texas with her family.