I look at you
all I think of is school
when I buy a new
it must be fashionably cool
Fendy or a Louie, much better than a Payless
your zippers make me queasy
echoing the sound of the elementary
middle and high school meanies, cool kids, masochists
ricochet syllables of putdowns and haterade off their lips
like it's the air they have been waiting to kiss
every waking minute, clouding my judgment
in these the moments
I began crafting my codeswitch
traumatizing as the bell rings
I had to shove books in you
the very things that perpetuated the ridicule
the knowledge that would break me from their footstool
is the same thing that made me the cool girl's fool
punch line after ever joke
especially after my wheelie lost a spoke
down the longest hallway did you choke
I mean your handle couldn't give you wings
each second I would dream
how many bullies you can knock down
like dumb bowling pins taunting the aisle
how distant was my smile
the year you were the signature piece of my style
pockets
neverending secrets doors to my anguish
filled to the brim
especially with La Catrina and Spanish
how can a little girl like me manage
history was my story daily
social studies was never another language
understanding people became my bandage
"act like a Hershey bar, think like an Oreo"
was the only sane way to handle it
I'm surprised it took grad school to become manic
Thank God flipped it and wrote another scenario
How the belittled becomes well known
I don't look like what I been through, I know
straps
modern day straight jacket
back on shoulders because the ground couldn’t hack it
divots in my collarbone
from hours of a chokehold
and you wonder where my guns come from
nerd world, weakling runs, geekdom
chin up bars and monkey bar scars
dungeon music
as I swing
cutting the wind
to hold you stable on my spine
on you my balance waivers
I adjust equilibrium
closer to the ground I become
practice I did so I would know the song
catching the rhythm
so daily you became my extension
invisible strings attacked
attached to keep me grounded
disguised as well rounded
step by step, day by day
you make instrumentals
with my dimples
my hips continuously sway
to augment the “S” curve of my body
giving my butt more wiggle jiggle and wave
without you, my knees compensate your weight
too high off the ground
unconscious bend to keep from disturbing the homeostasis place
with you, the heavier you are
the easier I am straight
when I am remembered for my mind and soul
NOT my gait
how many more years will I have to wait
until my mind and body can unconsciously communicate
how to walk with my back straight
not the limp "corrected" at birth but cemented by childhood hate
does all this lament get me a pension
to invent a weightless extension
for all those who will never be able to stand at attention
Author Bio:
Simone Nikkole is a songwriter and poetess “Azúcar”, and Sí.Nik Productions founder who stated writing poetry after reading Shel Silverstein at the age of 12. She realized words had no age and she was not judged for her young age in her writing. After being featured in Clouds Across the Stars, Theatre of the Mind, Signatures and Enhance Magazines, in 2010, she published My Journey through Poetry, chronologically describing finding and loving herself through God despite being a victim of bullying and feeling like an outcast in her family. Sidepiece Sanctifications was published in November 2013 to show women how to regain their worth after being objectified by their partners or being identified as a side chick. She is inspired by poets like Lemon Andersen, Sonia Sanchez, Maya Angelou and Nikki Giovanni. Her Spoken Word style is inspired by fellow Inspired Word NYC poets. She is working on a Trayvon anthology called The Martin Files, to be released on his birthday in February 2014 and to raise funds against unjust killing of youth. In her spare time, if she is not counseling youth, she loves supporting other arts, watching movies and spending time with her friends and family.
all I think of is school
when I buy a new
it must be fashionably cool
Fendy or a Louie, much better than a Payless
your zippers make me queasy
echoing the sound of the elementary
middle and high school meanies, cool kids, masochists
ricochet syllables of putdowns and haterade off their lips
like it's the air they have been waiting to kiss
every waking minute, clouding my judgment
in these the moments
I began crafting my codeswitch
traumatizing as the bell rings
I had to shove books in you
the very things that perpetuated the ridicule
the knowledge that would break me from their footstool
is the same thing that made me the cool girl's fool
punch line after ever joke
especially after my wheelie lost a spoke
down the longest hallway did you choke
I mean your handle couldn't give you wings
each second I would dream
how many bullies you can knock down
like dumb bowling pins taunting the aisle
how distant was my smile
the year you were the signature piece of my style
pockets
neverending secrets doors to my anguish
filled to the brim
especially with La Catrina and Spanish
how can a little girl like me manage
history was my story daily
social studies was never another language
understanding people became my bandage
"act like a Hershey bar, think like an Oreo"
was the only sane way to handle it
I'm surprised it took grad school to become manic
Thank God flipped it and wrote another scenario
How the belittled becomes well known
I don't look like what I been through, I know
straps
modern day straight jacket
back on shoulders because the ground couldn’t hack it
divots in my collarbone
from hours of a chokehold
and you wonder where my guns come from
nerd world, weakling runs, geekdom
chin up bars and monkey bar scars
dungeon music
as I swing
cutting the wind
to hold you stable on my spine
on you my balance waivers
I adjust equilibrium
closer to the ground I become
practice I did so I would know the song
catching the rhythm
so daily you became my extension
invisible strings attacked
attached to keep me grounded
disguised as well rounded
step by step, day by day
you make instrumentals
with my dimples
my hips continuously sway
to augment the “S” curve of my body
giving my butt more wiggle jiggle and wave
without you, my knees compensate your weight
too high off the ground
unconscious bend to keep from disturbing the homeostasis place
with you, the heavier you are
the easier I am straight
when I am remembered for my mind and soul
NOT my gait
how many more years will I have to wait
until my mind and body can unconsciously communicate
how to walk with my back straight
not the limp "corrected" at birth but cemented by childhood hate
does all this lament get me a pension
to invent a weightless extension
for all those who will never be able to stand at attention
Author Bio:
Simone Nikkole is a songwriter and poetess “Azúcar”, and Sí.Nik Productions founder who stated writing poetry after reading Shel Silverstein at the age of 12. She realized words had no age and she was not judged for her young age in her writing. After being featured in Clouds Across the Stars, Theatre of the Mind, Signatures and Enhance Magazines, in 2010, she published My Journey through Poetry, chronologically describing finding and loving herself through God despite being a victim of bullying and feeling like an outcast in her family. Sidepiece Sanctifications was published in November 2013 to show women how to regain their worth after being objectified by their partners or being identified as a side chick. She is inspired by poets like Lemon Andersen, Sonia Sanchez, Maya Angelou and Nikki Giovanni. Her Spoken Word style is inspired by fellow Inspired Word NYC poets. She is working on a Trayvon anthology called The Martin Files, to be released on his birthday in February 2014 and to raise funds against unjust killing of youth. In her spare time, if she is not counseling youth, she loves supporting other arts, watching movies and spending time with her friends and family.
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