The Voices Project
Follow us
  • POETRY LIBRARY
  • ABOUT
  • SUBMIT
  • RESOURCES

Untitled~ By Isa Mari

6/6/2017

0 Comments

 
I want to know where it all started 
where it all ended
where it all just melted into this never-ending something that never really began in the first place

I want to know the exact moment your attraction progressed into a feeling
the moment that feeling turned into a need
the moment you felt that need made you weak 
and the moment you let go of that weakness

Cus see, I never really understood your process
since mine was completely different, or maybe just felt different 
though in reality it was all the same

Cus see, my attraction turned into a feeling
which in turn grew into a need
and that need made me the weakest person alive

Cus see, that need was the inevitable side effect of love
and that need led me to believe I couldn’t be without you 
and that need actually led me to need you
and follow behind your shadow everywhere it went

Cus, see that darker version of yourself surely got closer than I ever did
even if the sun wasn’t out and all the city lights were cut off
even if shadows didn’t exist

But that was okay for me;  the words you once said were still fresh in my memory
and they were there to caress my fears and blind them
they were there to convince me of the need you claimed you once had for me

And I’m not sure if it was you who slowly sipped the sweetness from my soul
or your words who came and gulped down the rest of who I was

or the thoughts of you who later intruded my already dying heart like they were vicious cancer cells

Cus see, somewhere along those lines my conscience died
as my sense of hope thrived to the sound of your voice when you lied
me not knowing the difference between genuineness and manipulation

Cus see, you knew how to make it all sound the same 
or maybe you knew how to sing different tunes to the same old melody
or maybe you never tried to hide it; I did the hiding for you 

Cus see, maybe I was the manipulator of myself 
or maybe it was the part of me that made it inevitable for me to fall in love with beautiful people
or maybe it was the part of you that made me believe you were a beautiful person

Cus see what made me fall in love wasn’t your appearance or the way you spoke
it was the way you held me and the warmth i felt on my skin when you did
like the way a newly lit candle feels when you hover your hand a couple inches over the flame
after being cold for too long

But after a short while it was like I had fallen asleep right next to that burning wick 
and my terrible sleeping habits just couldn’t hold off for one night 
and i knocked that flame straight into my lap and still… refused to wake up

It was like knowing I was going to die anyways so I chose not to fight 
chose not to give myself the hope that I could get out of this
since I had already convinced myself that I couldn’t

Cus see, love and hurt come hand in hand, with one comes the inevitable other
so instead of trying to fight it, I ripped my own chest open to give you everything I was willing to give
and though you promised to give me yourself in return
you actually never gave me anything at all, just the memories that soon faded into oblivion

just like your words that passed away with every second of the day and you know what’s funny

I don’t even know what you sound like when you lie anymore

only the way it feels to be a pile of ashes blown away by you since I was like a piece of paper too weak to stay on fire and keep the house warm for you

just the way you like it...


Author Bio:
Isa Mari is a 19-year old poet, aspiring to release her overwhelming emotions through written word. She is currently diagnosed with three mental illnesses, including PTSD. The poetry she writes expresses her views on love, and life. Though her poetry is very personal, she has a need to share it. Her poetry does not only apply to those with mental illness, but to anyone who connects with similar emotions. She hopes to make a difference in someone’s life.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Poet Search

    by last name

    Archives

    January 2023
    June 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012

    RSS Feed

Contact The Voices Project: editors@thevoicesproject.org