& I don’t understand time very well
I remember right now tomorrow, today,
and it scares me that I’m writing a memory.
fogged and artificial
when a bite of cereal isn’t enough
when it’s cloudy and I’m still squinting
fingers digging toward marrow
because just laying together isn’t enough.
longing for longing’s sake
(palm out, wide open)
aching — I know how it feels to be truly hungry.
cereal is already a memory
& the stomach ache of a full stomach
is far worse than the stomach ache
of an empty stomach
and it scares me that I’m eating a memory.
Alisa Otte has been writing and journaling for as long as she can remember. She aims to write about what she doesn't understand, about those moments when she gets a pit in her stomach but can't figure out why. Writing is as essential to her as eating and breathing. She follows the modernist movement of poetry almost religiously, and draws on poets such as Rilke, Wallace Stevens, and Edna St. Vincent Millay for inspiration. Alisa is about to begin her final year of university at Colorado State University and is currently studying creative writing in New Zealand at Massey University. She has been previously published in The Tau, Momaya Press, and Cicada Creative Magazine.