Crying loud, but never hearing me, these silent screams, my desecrated dreams…
My tears I tuck away, while to the music my hips sway… The music becomes my
mind control… my memories dreams- I’ve sold…
The money erases- my dignity disgraces…
Self-medicated so I don’t feel their faces…
Becoming lost in the mirror, defaulting on everything I hold dear…
Wrapped in a masked identity- hiding what’s left of me…
My memory constantly escaping me…
Who want to remember? I’ve spent years trying to forget!
Living with these regrets… feels like walking death…
Trying to numb myself to forget the pain… the music controlling my brain-
feeling insane…
Because sanity screams a constant reminder of where you really are…
But for tonight- this is where I am…
Trying to put some money in my hand, and what I don’t make, by this shake…
I will allow him to – take…
Basically rape me…
For a certain price, it’s a roll of the dice…
Hope he don’t want it – twice…
Praying silently we have no strife…
Because I just realized, tonight I’m not carrying my knife!
Author Bio:
Matthew 12:34 "Out of the abundance of the Heart, the mouth will speak." The poet, HeartFlow, is 42-years-old, divorced with 6 children and grew up in Gary, Indiana. "I became a product of my enviroment after i was raped at the age of 14. Spent years in and out of drug addiction, people addiction and found freedom in writing, and a spiritual renewal with my higher power. I currently perform spoken word poetry and write. Performing at various venue's/ radio talk shows in Indianapolis and abroad, speaking to teens about; identity and self-esteem, and also sharing my story of recovery."
My tears I tuck away, while to the music my hips sway… The music becomes my
mind control… my memories dreams- I’ve sold…
The money erases- my dignity disgraces…
Self-medicated so I don’t feel their faces…
Becoming lost in the mirror, defaulting on everything I hold dear…
Wrapped in a masked identity- hiding what’s left of me…
My memory constantly escaping me…
Who want to remember? I’ve spent years trying to forget!
Living with these regrets… feels like walking death…
Trying to numb myself to forget the pain… the music controlling my brain-
feeling insane…
Because sanity screams a constant reminder of where you really are…
But for tonight- this is where I am…
Trying to put some money in my hand, and what I don’t make, by this shake…
I will allow him to – take…
Basically rape me…
For a certain price, it’s a roll of the dice…
Hope he don’t want it – twice…
Praying silently we have no strife…
Because I just realized, tonight I’m not carrying my knife!
Author Bio:
Matthew 12:34 "Out of the abundance of the Heart, the mouth will speak." The poet, HeartFlow, is 42-years-old, divorced with 6 children and grew up in Gary, Indiana. "I became a product of my enviroment after i was raped at the age of 14. Spent years in and out of drug addiction, people addiction and found freedom in writing, and a spiritual renewal with my higher power. I currently perform spoken word poetry and write. Performing at various venue's/ radio talk shows in Indianapolis and abroad, speaking to teens about; identity and self-esteem, and also sharing my story of recovery."
RSS Feed