She stood in the center
Afraid to step forward, yet afraid to step back
She seems to lack the ability to succeed
Believes that her destiny is pre-conceived on a plea from self pity
Where her rights were outweighed by her wrongs
And her songs of being sorry became ballads for re-birthing death
And she’s ready to relinquish her last breath
But she can’t
because she’s too afraid
Afraid to step forward yet afraid to step back
So she collects her thoughts and she reflects on a time when men would wine and dine her
Single or married
she didn’t mind
Her lips became loans for limited love and her search for brothers with dough
Became discreet meetings of “let’s keep things on the down low.”
Where men would pay big bucks for her beauty from head to toe
But she came nothing more than a sister who chose the wrong path to follow.
See her perception of satisfaction became a reaction from rejected intimacy
So she begins to seek her sanctuary in nightclubs and bars
Where alcohol and drugs became her antiseptic for those scars
And just as butterflies get entrapped into jars
She too became strapped into a suffocating society
Where no one seemed to ca re about her personal priorities
And all she wants to do is breathe
And all she has to do is breathe
And all she needs to do is breathe
But she can’t, because she’s too afraid
What she wouldn’t trade to be back in those olden days again
When the thought of pain could be erased with mommy’s kisses
And what she wishes for the most is a chance to forgive and find herself
But that past ghost of garbage keeps reminding her that she’s nothing more than a fade away allusion
A collage of color coded confusion
Who wants to be saved but to afraid to step forward because that paved highway to hell
Might be her yellow brick road to death and that’s not where she wants to be
So she gathers for her last breath as she prepares to step forward towards her goal
And although she already knows that she’s been labeled with a rejection label
She’s still able to hold her head high like it’s become a peace sigh
clear her mind
Because she now knows that she deserves to be on that front line
Like true warriors are supposed to be and she…
Steps
She knows that in order to achieve that she must believe and put God first in her life
Step...
We can’t expect others to believe in us, if we never learn to believe in ourselves
Step...
They said I’ll never make it but I’m going to make it
And I’m going to break this cycle of life’s crises because I know that in my heart
That it’s time to make a brand new start
To defeat the demons who I’ve allowed myself to be
Because the mirror reflected image that I’m speaking of is me
And day by day I clear my own pathway
And I step forward towards a goal because finally I know
That trouble don’t last always
And scars become marks that heal and fade away
So I puff puff pass the mic with my message
getting high on the beauty of God’s blessing
Author Bio:
Peggy Logan aka Tabu Hazel, is originally from White Plains, New York and currently resides in Columbia, SC. An actress and poet that grew up in Summerton, SC, has a M.Ed in Counseling. Peggy is a spoken word poet who has performed throughout the US in many venues, including Neo-Soul, Ephiphany’s, Hush, The Art Bar, Coffee Underground, Drip, The Jazz Spot, The Bayou, etc… She is an advocate who performs in events that promotes social awareness such as Cancer and Leukemia, Domestic Violence, Homelessness and Sexual Assault. She was a member of the 2005-2008 Columbia Poetry Slam Team, 2009-2010 New Danger Team and the 2012 Unusual Suspects Team. Her poetry and deliverance has been described as being “smooth, fluid, melodic and empowering”. She has two daughters Jasmine and Charvion.
Afraid to step forward, yet afraid to step back
She seems to lack the ability to succeed
Believes that her destiny is pre-conceived on a plea from self pity
Where her rights were outweighed by her wrongs
And her songs of being sorry became ballads for re-birthing death
And she’s ready to relinquish her last breath
But she can’t
because she’s too afraid
Afraid to step forward yet afraid to step back
So she collects her thoughts and she reflects on a time when men would wine and dine her
Single or married
she didn’t mind
Her lips became loans for limited love and her search for brothers with dough
Became discreet meetings of “let’s keep things on the down low.”
Where men would pay big bucks for her beauty from head to toe
But she came nothing more than a sister who chose the wrong path to follow.
See her perception of satisfaction became a reaction from rejected intimacy
So she begins to seek her sanctuary in nightclubs and bars
Where alcohol and drugs became her antiseptic for those scars
And just as butterflies get entrapped into jars
She too became strapped into a suffocating society
Where no one seemed to ca re about her personal priorities
And all she wants to do is breathe
And all she has to do is breathe
And all she needs to do is breathe
But she can’t, because she’s too afraid
What she wouldn’t trade to be back in those olden days again
When the thought of pain could be erased with mommy’s kisses
And what she wishes for the most is a chance to forgive and find herself
But that past ghost of garbage keeps reminding her that she’s nothing more than a fade away allusion
A collage of color coded confusion
Who wants to be saved but to afraid to step forward because that paved highway to hell
Might be her yellow brick road to death and that’s not where she wants to be
So she gathers for her last breath as she prepares to step forward towards her goal
And although she already knows that she’s been labeled with a rejection label
She’s still able to hold her head high like it’s become a peace sigh
clear her mind
Because she now knows that she deserves to be on that front line
Like true warriors are supposed to be and she…
Steps
She knows that in order to achieve that she must believe and put God first in her life
Step...
We can’t expect others to believe in us, if we never learn to believe in ourselves
Step...
They said I’ll never make it but I’m going to make it
And I’m going to break this cycle of life’s crises because I know that in my heart
That it’s time to make a brand new start
To defeat the demons who I’ve allowed myself to be
Because the mirror reflected image that I’m speaking of is me
And day by day I clear my own pathway
And I step forward towards a goal because finally I know
That trouble don’t last always
And scars become marks that heal and fade away
So I puff puff pass the mic with my message
getting high on the beauty of God’s blessing
Author Bio:
Peggy Logan aka Tabu Hazel, is originally from White Plains, New York and currently resides in Columbia, SC. An actress and poet that grew up in Summerton, SC, has a M.Ed in Counseling. Peggy is a spoken word poet who has performed throughout the US in many venues, including Neo-Soul, Ephiphany’s, Hush, The Art Bar, Coffee Underground, Drip, The Jazz Spot, The Bayou, etc… She is an advocate who performs in events that promotes social awareness such as Cancer and Leukemia, Domestic Violence, Homelessness and Sexual Assault. She was a member of the 2005-2008 Columbia Poetry Slam Team, 2009-2010 New Danger Team and the 2012 Unusual Suspects Team. Her poetry and deliverance has been described as being “smooth, fluid, melodic and empowering”. She has two daughters Jasmine and Charvion.
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