Shirts of man things, and shorts that are supposed to have dirt stains on them.
What I want to wear is
a dress of pink with butterflies.
But boys are not supposed to wear that.
I put them on anyway.
I brush my hair and put on my baseball cap.
I look in the mirror.
What do I see?
Not my reflection
Her hair in a bun, and dancing as a ballerina.
I head out.
When I feel the urge of
going to the restrooms.
I know which one I HAVE to use,
I don’t want to go in there!
The one with the man figure
That smells of sweat and dirt.
because of what I was born with.
Who makes these rules?
belong to her.
Because of her
I know I belong in the bathroom with dresses and lilac perfume.
I feel like I am locked in a closet and
I can’t get out.
I just push the feelings
Because it is not NORMAL.
That word “Normal”.
What is normal?
How come what I feel can’t be “normal.”
Who sets the normal?
Because my normal is her.
the smell of lilac
Amber Nicole Kittrell is a student at King University studying English. Her hopes are to teach English one day. A mother to a daughter, named Grey, she lives just outside of Nashville-- a Tennessean born and raised.