Stay out of my mind like you used to
Like a dark cloud suddenly rolling over-
No rain, no flowers bloom,
I am starting to understand living life without you.
Each day I learn something new-
Something I did not know about you.
You think very deeply about all someone's,
And the fear of having to let me know made you collapse in
On yourself instead
And when the dark cloud comes in, shading your thoughts
It pours down memories of me and you
Showering your heart with love
Your soul already knows
I still pray the heavens guide me back to you.
You left me in pitch black,
So now I sit in my bed
Thinking that the hours between two and five am
Are the best times to sort through my head-
I am not someone who takes shelter from a storm-
I am the storm, storm, storm.
That cloud had been following me for so long
I had forgotten that an exhale is not something
That is meant to be done one thousand times a day.
Sometimes I feel you climbing back up my throat
With all of the words I'm still too scared to say
And sometimes I forget to breathe,
But how each day I learn something new
If you water me, I'll water you.
I have found that there is no use
In praying for the absence of pain,
it will always find you, it will seek you--
Do you not realize it is the very thing
That forces us into the light?
Finding your face on a busy street, in an instant
I feel like I don't know who I am or what I've been to you.
And when I see you on the street
How am I supposed to stop myself
From wanting to paint your body with the words I don't know how to say?
But I remember the mountains I grew
Strong enough to climb when you didn't love me back,
And now it's difficult to remember it as all genuine
When I realize each day
Everything you promised wasn't true
I've learned that the sun will still come out
And the words burning my insides will find their way out
Sooner or later the Universe will intervene
Reigniting our flame that has so long ago burnt out
Because I still see it --
The bits of me in you.
You made me feel like me, and I made you feel like you.
This is Alyson's version of a response poem to Sylvia Plath's "Daddy". It was an assignment for a poetry class and she never planned to share with anyone. Luckily, she had some incredibly supportive friends who have convinced her otherwise. She is 21-years-old and from Pittsburgh, PA.