I can’t speak to him
The man I loved the most
Who broke my heart
Over and over again
I picked up the pieces
Over and over again
Stuffed them back into my breast
Kept moving
Kept trying
Kept loving
I can’t speak to him
The man I loved the most
He broke his own heart
Over and over again
Broke his body
Broke his mind,
Broke his soul
He left so many pieces lost
Every broken time
Until there were none left
To save.
I can’t speak to him
The man I loved the most
His body is in pieces
His mind is empty
His soul is dispersed
All gone
All gone
I can’t speak to him
The man I loved the most
He’s all gone
Shattered
A million pieces
Lost and scattered
I can’t speak to him
Can’t tell him I don’t want to gather
The shards of my heart anymore
Don’t want them to cut my hands
Feel the sting in my chest as I shove them inside
I want to leave a million splintered pieces
Of my heart
All over the ground
Be shattered
Be scattered
All gone.
For John Lurry Booker
October 26, 1940 — December 6, 2012
Author Bio:
Stephani Maari Booker, originally from Michigan and currently living in Minneapolis, holds an MFA from Hamline University of St. Paul, MN. She writes prose and poetry for the page and for performance in which she wrestles with her multiple marginalized identities: African American, lesbian, lower-class, nerdy and sexy.
A contributing writer/editor to the 80-year-old African American newspaper Minnesota Spokesman-Recorder, her creative work has been published most recently in Skin to Skin (Issue 04, http://s2skin.com), Cactus Heart (Issue 7, http://cactusheartpress.com), and Coming Together: Girl on Girl edited by Leigh Ellwood (EroticAnthology.com, 2013).
“I can’t speak to him” is a commissioned work written for and performed at “The Love Project,” works inspired by the poetry of Maxie Rockymore, presented by Obsidian Arts at Pillsbury House Theatre of Minneapolis, MN, December 28-29, 2012. Visit Stephani's website for more information about her work: https://www.goodreads.com/athenapm