The tattoo hurt pretty good but proved my ownership. It’s just hair but people thought I’d gone crazy - the lowlights and highlights black and blond. I want self-determination but was taught to surrender.
Finding me was no easy feat; I was buried deep. There was too much you and too little me - I’d vanished under our marriage contract’s coercion.
I needed to breathe a little, but there was nothing you wouldn’t belittle. There was nothing left but screaming loneliness and the desire to feel life’s pleasure, maybe a touch on my skin.
I heard music, a sweet voice promising more than endless days passing by while sitting at the kitchen table. Desire to change my universe was something that I failed to do except it’s not too late to use my inner voice, to speak up for times I remained silent.
I started to dance by myself, my own song at first leading hesitant steps in studded Steve Madden boots. I am all over creation chasing greater denotation. I am free to be me and strong now too, but I'll never feel contempt like you.
My heart’s filled with inherent sorrow, 16 squandered years, but there’s always tomorrow.
Finding me was no easy task but I am satisfied that I get to decide.
Beni lives in Missouri where her beloved pets and IT work dominate most of her life. She completed her first Doctoral course in Business Administration Computer and Information Security just to prove she could. Traveling all across Europe and Canada has been an eye-opening educational experience; never missing a chance to emerge herself and learn about diverse cultures. Beni believes that most people will either love you or hate you; but only the indifferent ones need worrying about. Conversation and writing are her true passion. Her website URL is: [www.beniblue.net]