Deaf Gain~ By CLS Ferguson

I was born with eyes closed and ears wide open
My mouth: moving, 
Hands: frozen at my sides

Growing up, 
I used my voice to gain success;
Singing,
Comments in class,
Conversations in English with grownups,
Conversations in my limited Spanish with other grownups

I listened in class, but hardly read
Only half-looked at movie screens, as my mind wandered
The world went in one ear,
Then out of my mouth

I raised my voice to be heard
Joined the speech and debate team
Didn’t have to look at others to understand them, 
Just tuned my ear toward their direction

I became an actress, a singer, a speech teacher
Then, the criticism started
My voice: too weak, too pitchy, too girly
My ears: assaulted by the negativity
It’s all I ever heard

Then, I discovered a culture with ears closed and eyes wide open
Active hands and voices unimportant
Blunt, realistic, and yet accepting
They are teaching me to talk with my hands and listen with my eyes
No one ever comments on my voice
The Deaf are helping my eyes to open


Author Bio:
CLS Ferguson, PhD is a communication professor at Mt. San Antonio College and California State University, Northridge and a Mary Kay Sales Director. She paints, sings, acts, models, produces independent films, and has published many academic articles and two academic books. Her portrayal of The Black Rose in Silence, which she also co-wrote and produced, earned her a best actress award and a best film award at the LA Neo Noir Festival. Her music video, Secrets & Lies is currently earning accolades on the indie film circuit. CLS has published poetry in Shangri-La Shack, Still Points Quarterly, PQLeer, and other places. Her poetry collection, God Bless Paul is out on Rosedog Books. She has a dog, Sadie, with her husband, Rich Ferguson. http://clsferguson.wix.com/clsferguson