i.
Older now
We surprise ourselves
In small ways
Every day.
Some mornings
The first glimpse
Of our faces
In the bathroom mirror
Is a shock
That knocks us back
For a moment.
Sometimes there is an instant
Of instability
New to us
When we stand up
From a chair
And we teeter a little
Before forging ahead,
And then we remember
When our old, old grandmothers
Required our help
To pull them up
Out of their deeply cushioned rockers
Where they’d sat crocheting for hours.
We notice that we have a tenuous relationship
With many consonants
And that when someone says
The word meet, for example,
We may guess
Feet or bean or heap
But really only hear ee,
In addition to which
We are increasingly aware
Of uttering the question What?
With great regularity
When our partners
Attempt to convey
Essential information
From across the room.
ii.
But startlingly new to many of us our age
These days
Is the realization that we are counted
Among the group of global citizens
Deemed most at risk
From the pandemic
That is rampaging
Around the planet
Sickening and killing
Thousands upon thousands.
And while we may understand
The reasons why we are more at risk,
Coming face to face
With that existential/medical fact
For many of us who pride ourselves
On staying fit
Exercising regularly
Eating the healthiest foods,
Is profoundly sobering.
We read the death notices
Every day
Noting the ages of those
Who have succumbed
And which were within our range,
While we can’t help thinking,
Better us than the little ones.
iii.
Older now
And at risk in a time of plague
Long lives thoroughly lived
Battle-scared immune systems
Bracing for another deadly onslaught
Feeling immense gratitude
For all the courageous helpers
Bottomless love
For family and friends
Perhaps growing somewhat philosophical
About the unpredictable arrival
Of mortality’s midnight train
But ready to climb aboard?
Not yet.
Author Bio:
Buff Whitman-Bradley and his wife Cynthia are relying on digital technology to keep in touch with their young granddaughters, but ache to be able to romp in the woods with them again. Buff's poems have appeared and many print and online journals. His latest book is "Crows with Bad Writing." He podcasts poems reflecting on aging, memory and mortality at thirdactpoems.podbean.com This poem expresses the uncertainty many feel about the ultimate outcome of the current crisis -- and future ones.