It has been the first time that I've felt a disconnection between the human body and it's soul,
And have inferred an ending, I'd probably would never wish to conclude!
Enclosed within the four walls; I felt slightly nauseous today.
These walls have always been the best pals of my isolation
They have seen me broken, bent and have heard my cries without complaining
They have never judged me!
But today, I see a certain amount of negligence in their company!
So, I swiftly slide the curtains and opened the windows to breathe some fresh air,
and started sipping upon my coffee.
Whenever I look outside the casement, I see the World in a wider view!
I see the clouds traveling with time, people changing with the change in winds,
and two more old faces gazing exactly the way I do.
I wonder what stories did they live?
As I kept sipping upon my coffee, I could sense the bitterness of it was multiplying each time,
As if the coffee beans have revolted against the leftover sweetness in my life,
-The mere memories of my child holding my fingers tight and walking barefoot with his tiny steps!
Even in my 70's I couldn't forget, It was the day when Sushil uttered "Papa!" for the very first time
and how easily a happy man's tears I cried!
But, as I said, people change with the change in winds,
The hands once which held tight, now lay untouched like the dried autumn leaves,
And how easily a tear drop fell from my eyes
An unfortunate father, today cries.
I didn't want anyone to catch a glimpse of this countenance displaying sob and pain
So, I closed the windows somehow convincing myself to better remain trapped within these four walls.
I kept the coffee mug aside,
and set my body to rest for a while
But closing the eyes didn't help either!
Instead it brought the visions of miseries and dread.
For I saw the houses burning, lives drowning, mountains aching and at last my wife's grave!
And I opened my eyes wide in the spur of the moment
Found myself breathing heavily with a face covered with sweat.
I sat down, I calmed myself, caught my breath again, and drank a glass of water.
I wondered, "Why did this happen?"
"What did her grave signify?"
"Maybe I didn't offer the prayer!"
My grandmother Dammu always said, "One should offer a prayer before one sleeps,
for it helps in escaping mind from horrid dreams and hallucinations!"
So, I gave her thought, a thought; and decided to value her belief.
I closed my eyes again and offered a prayer.
I kept on chanting holy names as a lullaby to myself and truly felt that my senses were shutting down!
Yet, I only had one question dangling somewhere in my subconscious mind
"Will I wake up to see another day or not?"
if I do, "What is left with me to offer to this new day and what is left in the day to offer something new to me?
and If I don't, "Who would bury me?"
Sameer Ved takes a great zeal in whatever work he does. He started writing two years back and have been embracing this art since then. He believes writing is the strongest form of expression to connect to one's emotions and most of his poetries are influenced from the emotional trauma which he has seen in the people around him.