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A Therapist's Song~ By ML Roberts

9/24/2013

7 Comments

 
I am a listener.    People come to me.
They pay me to listen.  They pay me
not to speak.       That is the contract.

I must make notes to myself…
that is also part of the contract
but notes must be kept in dark,
double-locked spaces…in case…
in case of…
                       the unspeakable.

When I go home at night,
I cannot tell a lover, or even a
husband, what I know.  I cannot
call a best friend or my sister
to tell her of the pain I took in
today.

I must censor.  I go to the movies,
see someone whose life I  know
intimately, and all I can do is wait…
wait to see whether he nods or
smiles or somehow gives me an “o.k.”
to just say, “hello.”

Someone asks me: 
“Do you know so-and-so?”
and sometimes I must lie. 
To say: “Yes, but don’t ask how,”
is the same thing as telling
                                    how.

I begin to write and I must
censor.  How do I know this thing
I want to say?  I begin to tell
a casual  story. I check the source.
Sometimes I feel as though
I carry an internal Rolodex.

This listening … it leads to another
full-time job.   Sometimes my head
feels as though it will split in two. 
Sometimes my neck gets so rigid
and my shoulders so tight, I want to
Hang myself upside down.


Author Bio:
ML Roberts is a retired psychologist living in Milwaukee, WI. For the better part of two decades, she practiced psychotherapy in Boise, ID. Uprooting herself from both a career and a place she loved resulted in a great deal of soul searching, followed by a feeling of loss far greater than what she anticipated.
In preparation for a change in careers, Roberts studied creative writing at Boise State University and Boise’s Log Cabin Literary Center. After making the break, she moved several times and, with each move, sought out other writers through workshops and critique groups. She is currently an active member of the All Writers’ Workshop and Workplace, in Waukesha, WI.


In addition to publishing as a professional psychologist and as a communications specialist, she has placed fiction and poetry in Cabin Fever; Boise University Radio INPRINT; Boise Weekly; Standing: Poetry by Idaho Women; and two anthologies: What Mattered Once, What Matters Now (Live Poets Society, Boise, ID) and Women with Wings (Women Writing for a Change, Bloomington, IN). Roberts holds degrees from Marshall University (B.A.), Virginia Tech (M.S.), and Penn State (Ph.D.)
7 Comments
Amy
9/24/2013 08:37:56 pm

Nice job Marsha, thinking of you down here in Bloomington.

Reply
Eileen
10/5/2013 10:13:46 pm

Eye-opening piece, Marsha! Makes me realize all that you, my mother and father have held close and quiet for so long. Thank you for the insight!

Reply
Marsha
10/6/2013 04:33:07 am

Thank you. That was what I was hoping for.

Reply
Julia link
10/11/2013 12:15:16 pm

Thought-provoking.
I know what you mean...

Reply
R. J. Ball
9/23/2015 03:28:46 am

Reminds me of a picture of young junior highs on Frazier's porch, having fun, being crazy, now senior adults, having had interesting lives, still being creative, leaving footprints for following generations to follow and wonder at...

Reply
Jean Jones
4/17/2016 07:00:53 am

I awakened this morning with you on my mind-seeking to find you I checked my friend Google- long story short I want to thank you

Reply
Marsha Roberts
4/17/2016 08:27:38 am

Thank you, Jean.

Reply



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